An intro to Death

Death
If you stuck around after seeing that word—thank you.

As most of you know, I’ve been in the funeral industry since late 2007. For me, this work has always felt like a calling—not just as a funeral director, but now, stepping into the role of a death doula as well.

I’ll never forget my lightbulb moment. I was watching a reality show called Family Plots, about a family who ran a funeral home together and all the chaos and craziness that came with it. Now, I’m sure some of it was exaggerated… maybe…

At one point, they showed one of the daughters—don’t ask me her name, because I won’t remember—in her PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) in the preparation room, also known as the morgue or embalming room. And that’s when it hit me: I think that’s what I want to do.

After my sister passed away in August of 2003, the idea had been in the back of my mind for a while. But at that time, there weren’t many female funeral directors, and information wasn’t nearly as accessible as it is today. In 2007, I finally went online, looked into schooling, researched my state’s requirements—and the rest is still being written.

One of the main responsibilities of a funeral director and embalmer is to help families grieve in the way they need to—and to help carry some of that burden. It’s about providing a safe space for them to do so. Sometimes, it’s simply listening. Listening without judgment, without projecting our own opinions or biases. Just being present in the moment for them.

But things are changing in the funeral industry. It’s not the same as it was five, ten, or certainly not twenty or fifty years ago. (I’ll save that for another post.) What I will say is this: it’s more important than ever to offer families options.

The death doula course I’m currently taking is really emphasizing that—being present with the person who is dying and their family, and creating a safe, supportive environment, whatever that may look like. I want to find a way to integrate my energy healing work into this… I don’t know exactly how that’s going to look yet, but I know that in time, I will.

Each week, we’ve been exploring different aspects of a death doula’s role. And, mind you, at the age of 39, I have yet to witness someone take their final breath.

Another part of what families are encouraged to do is reflect on life—and to let go of resentment. That’s a big one. The “F” word… forgiveness.

So maybe this is something to ask yourself right now:
Is there someone I need to forgive? A burden I need to release?
Do I need to forgive myself for something?

Maybe this is the time to do just that.

I’ll be sharing more soon about my journey as a funeral director, and what I’m learning as I add yet another “hat” to my collection—the death doula hat.

I’d love to hear your thoughts—have you ever felt called to do something bigger than yourself? Or are you on your own path of healing, grief, or transformation? Share in the comments. Let’s hold space for each other.

April 8, 2025